i met up early this evening with my friend erika, whom i haven’t seen in quite a while. she stopped by my place to drop off a backpack and some assorted camping equipment for my use. it was interesting to fall right into conversation with her after not having seen her in nearly two years. our talk skated about many subjects including the economy, religion, and the state of the world today. it was a good, albeit short conversation.
but mostly i appreciated the fact that she saw my upcoming homelessness as a period of transition, a sloughing off of the old and a metamorphosis into something very different, much the same way that i am perceiving this situation. i am not fearful or worried by what is going on in my life. i will admit that when the inevitability of my becoming homeless first became apparent, i was worried. i went through the seven stages of grief: shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression and finally, acceptance and hope. but i went through them quickly, over the course of a day or two.
i subconsciously at the time realized that i could give into the fear that becoming homeless can understandably cause, or i could take as much control of the situation as possible, which would limit the emotional/psychic damage inflicted upon me. i say subconsciously because it was just that, an automatic response of my being to the occurring events. looking back on it i am rather pleasantly surprised that i have reacted in this fashion.
that is not to say i am looking forward to being homeless. but i am appreciating how it is making me look at materialism and not just in an abstract way, but in a most personal way.
for instance, i have been trying to locate someone with a truck to assist me in moving three wooden bookcases to my 5′ x 5′ storage unit. when i thought….”why?” yes i do have many books, and yes again i do need bookcases to put them in, but while my books are in storage i have no need for bookcases. so why not simply sell them to get some much needed cash? and what of my books? do i really need to keep all of them? some i certainly do not want to part with, such as my collections of burroughs and ginsberg, but i do not certainly need to keep them all. so tomorrow i am going to go through them, and those i don’t really desire to keep, i will be ridding myself of. i am looking to eliminate perhaps 40% of my collection.
if someone had told me a year ago that i would be getting rid of 40% of my books without giving it a second’s thought, i would’ve laughed. today i am looking forward to it.
on a separate note, when i originally started this blog i had placed a paypal “donate” button on my posts so that persons could donate money to help me out if they should so choose. unfortunately i had to remove them because in order to accept a payment to paypal one needs to have a bank account. i did not realize this when i opened the account, and paypal didn’t mention it until a donation was sent and i tried to accept it. i am not quite sure why paypal has this requirement, since they hold onto the money and don’t deposit it in the checking account of the member. for some odd reason they want to have the two connected. wether that is their policy or one implemented by the government, i don’t know, nor do i really care. i have shut my paypal account and the only donations i am asking for are items on my amazon wishlist.
i have already had several items donated to me (to see the items and the names of those who have donated, click the “donations received” link at the top of my blog). and am very grateful for the generosity of these individuals. it is my intent that when i am back on my feet, i shall give to those in need an amount equal to 3 times of the value of donations i have received.
thank you once again to those i know and do not know, for extending a helping hand to a fellow human in need. perhaps there is hope for our species after all.
i have created a wish list at amazon.com for certain things that will be very helpful for me to have while i am homeless, but which i can not in anyway afford. you can simply select the item that you wish to donate, and it will be sent to me.
by clicking the “wishlist” tab at the top of the blog you will see explanations of why i have placed these items on my wishlist.
my wishlist can be found at the following link: wishlist
thank you
ironwrackdream 